Saturday, November 12, 2011

Relationships x 2

I was blessed to have found two of the most perfect relationships in the world between my first husband Gary and my second husband Dave. My first husband Gary was an outgoing, friendly, gentle soul who was my best friend for almost 10 years. He blessed me with our daughter and was a good father to my son and his two children from his first marriage. We had good times and bad times but worked together to get through the tough stuff. He was killed in a car accident in 1999 and I thought my world had come to an end. I was brave enough to try again 2 years later when I went on a blind date with a classmate's uncle. This man was truly my soul mate in so many ways that were different from my first marriage. We had so much in common from growing up and graduating the same year to experiences that most people would not understand unless they too had been through the same thing. He took on me and my two children (ages 15 and 8), not an easy job by any means but did it and has done it well ever since 2003. He knows me better than I know myself and I can tell him anything and vice versa. In some ways he is like my first husband but in other ways he is the complete opposite.

I can probably say the same thing for my best friend Barb. She and I got to know each other through teaching and our daughters who are the same age. We always say we are sisters separated at birth because we have shared similar experiences, not always happy, and have come a long way in our lives. She truly is the sister I never had and she and I share a bond that cannot be explained. We did not grow up together or even live in the same area until 1992. I can talk to her about so many things and she can talk to me and those confidants are never shared with anyone else.

I could probably say the same thing about several friends who I have close relationships with. I am not sure if it is because I do not have siblings but I take my friendships and relationships seriously. These relationships are more with people I have met since moving away from the area where I grew up and graduated from. I am not in contact with classmates from high school at all anymore. I feel that the relationships I have now are extensions of my high school friends but on a different level. One fault I have with friendships/relationships is that sometimes I put too much trust into people who I think are a friend but are not. I have learned to step back and evaluate the situation before revealing too much or investing too much. I like to think I am a very outgoing and friendly person. My husband says I can talk to anyone about anything.

Relationships/friendships take work; they are not born that way and need nurturing. I think this is how I see parents in my program who do not know me. We continue to build and establish that relationship and I hope my parents think it is a relationship worth nurturing.